Mourning Before the Restoration

“Then the king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went, he said thus: “O my son Absalom—my son, my son Absalom—if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son!” 2 Samuel 18:33 NKJV

WOW! What happened this weekend with these readings?! All was going well – then BOOM! Sudden turn around! Like the year 2020 hit poor David in the face! When we look at it this way, suddenly we can all relate a little better.  But maybe there is a better way to related and understand all the things happening here? I mean, David’s son is dead?! So much happened!!  But our God is a redeeming God, a resurrecting God and restoring God – here is David, in the mourning before the restoration. I am as well, moments away from the promise land!

Dear Heavenly Father – As always, please open eye to see and our ears to hear what you are saying! Lord – open our understanding that we may know you. Please do not let us miss out on what you want and need from us today. And please keep us and bless us and shine your face upon us and pour out grace over us and give us peace! Thank you! – In Jesus name we pray, Amen

Today’s reading is from the book of 2 Samuel, chapters 16-18 (embedded below the image below for your convenience).  In it, we see David flee for his life, we see a son’s rebellion rise up and turn against his father, against King David. We see David’s good friend and advisor also turn on him! It feels like NO ONE except GOD is still on David’s side.

In the end, David’s son learned the hard way that the wages of sin is death – David won the victory without any rejoicing, but still humbly giving God the glory as God mourns with David.

Once upon a time, I laid on my living room floor wallowing in the despair of the consequences of my sins. And in that moment, God reached out to me. I was raised in the church and I know God when I hear Him. I literally said, “you again?” He did not respond. He was just there with open arms ready to hug His prodigal daughter.

But I am a feisty one – so I said: “I know you are the only way. I know only you can fix this mess I made. I know only you can heal all these hurting people around me. I know only you can deliver me.  Will you?”

He was typically silent. Just waiting for me to surrender.

I continued: “Your word says you will deliver me! Your word says you will heal me! You said it!! Tell me, will you?!?! Because I NEED a living God! I need a REAL God! Not a make sure I feel “nice” on Sunday God! I need real change I need demons cast out and chain broken! I need all the things you promised me when I was a child!!! Are you there! Are you still alive?! Are you ready?!”

Still no answer. He had no need to answer.

Finally I said: “You know I believe – I am ready. I have lost everything and there is nothing left. I give up. I am yours.”

Immediately, nothing changed. I had lost my daughter, we was not going to resurrect. I lost her father to another woman. My house was being threatened, my job was being threatened, I had a lady literally cursing me and trying to manipulate the world around me and sabotage me. I had my friends and family turning against me. So I turned to the stories of David, because if anyone in the Bible knows about your world falling apart and struggling with sin it is David!

I fell head over heels in love with my creator! I had a life changing experience with grace! I am transformed and redeemed. This is the spirit man – who has died, surrendered all, keeps her eyes on God so I cannot see the cares and worries – I was delivered from addictions, curses were broken, stronghold fell down. This is all in the spirit.

But what became of the flesh? I slowly heal from the loss of my baby. I do not have a relationship with her daddy. A spiritual Battle, Covid and a prodigal adult child caused hundreds of dollars of damage to the house and a couple good wind storms and a terrible home owner’s insurance policy caused thousands of dollars in damage to the outside.  I lost my job and unemployment insurance was delayed so I went 2 months without a penny of money coming in. I have lost most of my friends. I have been separated from most of my family by demonic offenses arising in their imaginations. My own sister tried to hook up with my ex for no other reason than to cause trouble. My son moved out. And in the flesh – things actually got worse. Like reading this story of David where life is actually worse running from His son than running from Saul.

But David says of the man that cursed him – to let him curse because it is of God and for God’s glory. And David said, no one harm my son because God will figure this whole thing out. And like David – I have given all these things to God and I keep my eyes on the provider and not the provisions. God tore down everything – but my foundation was corrupt and He needed to rebuild from the beginning! DO NOT LOOK AT THE FLESH!!! You are missing what GOD HAS DONE!

I am transformed! I am redeemed! I have pressed into the dark, humbling unknown and demons fled! I was set free!!  And people look at the flesh and say, “Do you realize the grace of God has got you this far?” and I am stunned. DO I REALIZE?! HELLO – I LIVE BY GRACE AND FAITH! I live under mercy! I may be in a cave and you cannot see the beautiful psalms coming out in the midnight hours! But it is for God – I am worship unto Him.

God lead me to my current church which was my home church and told me they were about to wake up and this was where He was going to restore me – remember all those promises God gave me when I was a child (the Mark 16:17-18 promises).  No one sees me. They judge me as a newly returned prodigal and my heart breaks that they do not see and glorify God for what He has done. God I believe. But they are not awake or ready yet.  I walk in the spirit and I see the dark monster on one sister, I see addiction chained to another. I see a black monkey on a brother’s back. I see the 3 women in cloaks. I see the unforgiveness eating at a brother’s neurological system.  I see the spirit angry that I have returned home to clean and manifesting as illness – like the drooling one in the balcony.  I beg God – let me cast them out. No, not yet. What about the island principality which should not even be in this part of the world and is destroying peace and health in one family, let me command that chain be broken and it goes back to the nation where it belongs. Not yet, not yet!

As David needed the events in his life to play out – for things to get bad in the physical so God could turn them around for His glory!!! Because people do no walk in the spirit as we are told to. No. they walk and see in the physical. I have not yet been restored in the physical. It doesn’t even matter to me as I do not live there.

Soon, David will be restored. Soon I will enter my promise land. Then, the man of the Lord with call me, anoint my head with oil and bless me. I do not have a father or husband – It is the job of the man of the Lord. I have been released to write of my experience and write my studies. But I am not released to lay hands of people and let the spirit of God move through me into them. I have done it, I shouldn’t – it isn’t time yet.

Anyway, while you read how David’s life fell apart again, how my life isn’t put back together – how when David and I both gave our all to God – He literally took it all.  Keep in mind the spirit world, where I am exceedingly abundantly bless with a growing ministry and business and spiritually closer to God than ever before and David’s psalms show of the same goodness of the Lord!!! God is good – stop looking at the physical. It has to be so God can put it back together the way he wants it!

Give God all the glory, because eyes have not seen nor ear heard of the goodness that is coming!!!! God’s not dead – He is alive and moving! He is doing a new thing! Behold it springs forth in the dessert! It is high time to wake up! Today is the day – now is the time of grace!!! I know in whom I believe AND HE IS ABLE! He IS able!

To those who have been with me for a long time, I know I repeat – I am like a broken record. But this wave is about to burst open here in my home town – they are being shook. Foundations of sand are crumbling. He is causing them to turn to him awake! It is time!

Do you already have a relationship with a powerful God who cares about your every need because He loves you? Did you know my God can communicate with you and protect you – He has a plan for you to prosper if you just submit to His will and let His plan play out in your life!!! God wants a relationship with you and has already made a plan for your life. He loves you so much He sent His son to this world, to die as a sacrifice for your sins and rise from death with victory over sin and the ability to have a personal relationship with you.
9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Romans 10:9-10 NIV
Here is a prayer for you to pray:
Jesus, I believe you are the way, the truth, the life, and the only way to the Father. I believe you are the son of God, you came to Earth and lived. That you died on the cross as a sacrifice for my sins, and rose again so that I may be saved from my sins and be able to get to know you. I declare: Jesus, you are Lord!
Therefore, I confess that I am a sinner and I ask that you forgive me of my sins and come into my life. Help me to turn away from my sins and transform me into what you have lovingly created me to be. Help me through a real personal relationship grow and accept your will for my life – that I may live in your blessings. Please walk with me, and talk with me – I accept a relationship with you and with our Father God, through you. In the name of Jesus I pray ~ Amen

MEMORY WORK: Mark 16:17-18 – This month is a two for one special!!!
NKJV – “And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”
NAS – “These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not harm them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”
ESV – “And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”
NLT – “These miraculous signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak in new languages. They will be able to handle snakes with safety, and if they drink anything poisonous, it won’t hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick, and they will be healed.”
NIV – “And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

Thank you for reading.
May the God of peace keep you and bless you. May you stay focused on Christ and covered in grace.
Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!

BIBLE READING: 2 Samuel 16-18 NKJV

Mephibosheth’s Servant

16 When David was a little past the top of the mountain, there was Ziba the servant of Mephibosheth, who met him with a couple of saddled donkeys, and on them two hundred loaves of bread, one hundred clusters of raisins, one hundred summer fruits, and a skin of wine. And the king said to Ziba, “What do you mean to do with these?”

So Ziba said, “The donkeys are for the king’s household to ride on, the bread and summer fruit for the young men to eat, and the wine for those who are faint in the wilderness to drink.”

Then the king said, “And where is your master’s son?”

And Ziba said to the king, “Indeed he is staying in Jerusalem, for he said, ‘Today the house of Israel will restore the kingdom of my father to me.’ ”

So the king said to Ziba, “Here, all that belongs to Mephibosheth is yours.”

And Ziba said, “I humbly bow before you, that I may find favor in your sight, my lord, O king!”

Shimei Curses David

Now when King David came to Bahurim, there was a man from the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei the son of Gera, coming from there. He came out, cursing continuously as he came. And he threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David. And all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. Also Shimei said thus when he cursed: “Come out! Come out! You [a]bloodthirsty man, you [b]rogue! The Lord has brought upon you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned; and the Lord has delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom your son. So now you are caught in your own evil, because you are a [c]bloodthirsty man!”

Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Please, let me go over and take off his head!”

10 But the king said, “What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? So let him curse, because the Lord has said to him, ‘Curse David.’ Who then shall say, ‘Why have you done so?’ ”

11 And David said to Abishai and all his servants, “See how my son who came from my own body seeks my life. How much more now may this Benjamite? Let him alone, and let him curse; for so the Lord has ordered him. 12 It may be that the Lord will look on [d]my affliction, and that the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing this day.” 13 And as David and his men went along the road, Shimei went along the hillside opposite him and cursed as he went, threw stones at him and [e]kicked up dust. 14 Now the king and all the people who were with him became weary; so they refreshed themselves there.

The Advice of Ahithophel

15 Meanwhile Absalom and all the people, the men of Israel, came to Jerusalem; and Ahithophel was with him. 16 And so it was, when Hushai the Archite, David’s friend, came to Absalom, that Hushai said to Absalom, “Long live the king! Long live the king!”

17 So Absalom said to Hushai, “Is this your loyalty to your friend? Why did you not go with your friend?”

18 And Hushai said to Absalom, “No, but whom the Lord and this people and all the men of Israel choose, his I will be, and with him I will remain. 19 Furthermore, whom should I serve? Should I not serve in the presence of his son? As I have served in your father’s presence, so will I be in your presence.”

20 Then Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give advice as to what we should do.”

21 And Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Go in to your father’s concubines, whom he has left to keep the house; and all Israel will hear that you are abhorred by your father. Then the hands of all who are with you will be strong.” 22 So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the top of the house, and Absalom went in to his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.

23 Now the advice of Ahithophel, which he gave in those days, was as if one had inquired at the oracle of God. So was all the advice of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom.

The Advice of Ahithophel and Hushai

17 Moreover Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Now let me choose twelve thousand men, and I will arise and pursue David tonight. I will come upon him while he is weary and weak, and make him [f]afraid. And all the people who are with him will flee, and I will strike only the king. Then I will bring back all the people to you. When all return except the man whom you seek, all the people will be at peace.” And the saying pleased Absalom and all the elders of Israel.

The Advice of Hushai

Then Absalom said, “Now call Hushai the Archite also, and let us hear what he says too.” And when Hushai came to Absalom, Absalom spoke to him, saying, “Ahithophel has spoken in this manner. Shall we do as he says? If not, speak up.”

So Hushai said to Absalom: “The advice that Ahithophel has given is not good at this time. For,” said Hushai, “you know your father and his men, that they are mighty men, and they are enraged in their minds, like a bear robbed of her cubs in the field; and your father is a man of war, and will not camp with the people. Surely by now he is hidden in some pit, or in some other place. And it will be, when some of them are overthrown at the first, that whoever hears it will say, ‘There is a slaughter among the people who follow Absalom.’ 10 And even he who is valiant, whose heart is like the heart of a lion, will melt completely. For all Israel knows that your father is a mighty man, and those who are with him are valiant men. 11 Therefore I advise that all Israel be fully gathered to you, from Dan to Beersheba, like the sand that is by the sea for multitude, and that you go to battle in person. 12 So we will come upon him in some place where he may be found, and we will fall on him as the dew falls on the ground. And of him and all the men who are with him there shall not be left so much as one. 13 Moreover, if he has withdrawn into a city, then all Israel shall bring ropes to that city; and we will pull it into the river, until there is not one small stone found there.”

14 So Absalom and all the men of Israel said, “The advice of Hushai the Archite is better than the advice of Ahithophel.” For the Lord had purposed to defeat the good advice of Ahithophel, to the intent that the Lord might bring disaster on Absalom.

Hushai Warns David to Escape

15 Then Hushai said to Zadok and Abiathar the priests, “Thus and so Ahithophel advised Absalom and the elders of Israel, and thus and so I have advised. 16 Now therefore, send quickly and tell David, saying, ‘Do not spend this night in the plains of the wilderness, but speedily cross over, lest the king and all the people who are with him be swallowed up.’ ” 17 Now Jonathan and Ahimaaz stayed at En Rogel, for they dared not be seen coming into the city; so a female servant would come and tell them, and they would go and tell King David. 18 Nevertheless a lad saw them, and told Absalom. But both of them went away quickly and came to a man’s house in Bahurim, who had a well in his court; and they went down into it. 19 Then the woman took and spread a covering over the well’s mouth, and spread ground grain on it; and the thing was not known. 20 And when Absalom’s servants came to the woman at the house, they said, “Where are Ahimaaz and Jonathan?”

So the woman said to them, “They have gone over the water brook.”

And when they had searched and could not find them, they returned to Jerusalem. 21 Now it came to pass, after they had departed, that they came up out of the well and went and told King David, and said to David, “Arise and cross over the water quickly. For thus has Ahithophel advised against you.” 22 So David and all the people who were with him arose and crossed over the Jordan. By morning light not one of them was left who had not gone over the Jordan.

23 Now when Ahithophel saw that his advice was not followed, he saddled a donkey, and arose and went home to his house, to his city. Then he [g]put his household in order, and hanged himself, and died; and he was buried in his father’s tomb.

24 Then David went to Mahanaim. And Absalom crossed over the Jordan, he and all the men of Israel with him. 25 And Absalom made Amasa captain of the army instead of Joab. This Amasa was the son of a man whose name was [h]Jithra, an [i]Israelite, who had gone in to Abigail the daughter of Nahash, sister of Zeruiah, Joab’s mother. 26 So Israel and Absalom encamped in the land of Gilead.

27 Now it happened, when David had come to Mahanaim, that Shobi the son of Nahash from Rabbah of the people of Ammon, Machir the son of Ammiel from Lo Debar, and Barzillai the Gileadite from Rogelim, 28 brought beds and basins, earthen vessels and wheat, barley and flour, parched grain and beans, lentils and parched seeds, 29 honey and curds, sheep and cheese of the herd, for David and the people who were with him to eat. For they said, “The people are hungry and weary and thirsty in the wilderness.”

Absalom’s Defeat and Death

18 And David [j]numbered the people who were with him, and set captains of thousands and captains of hundreds over them. Then David sent out one third of the people under the hand of Joab, one third under the hand of Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab’s brother, and one third under the hand of Ittai the Gittite. And the king said to the people, “I also will surely go out with you myself.”

But the people answered, “You shall not go out! For if we flee away, they will not care about us; nor if half of us die, will they care about us. But you are worth ten thousand of us now. For you are now more help to us in the city.”

Then the king said to them, “Whatever seems best to you I will do.” So the king stood beside the gate, and all the people went out by hundreds and by thousands. Now the king had commanded Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, saying, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains orders concerning Absalom.

So the people went out into the field of battle against Israel. And the battle was in the woods of Ephraim. The people of Israel were overthrown there before the servants of David, and a great slaughter of twenty thousand took place there that day. For the battle there was scattered over the face of the whole countryside, and the woods devoured more people that day than the sword devoured.

Then Absalom met the servants of David. Absalom rode on a mule. The mule went under the thick boughs of a great terebinth tree, and his head caught in the terebinth; so he was left hanging between heaven and earth. And the mule which was under him went on. 10 Now a certain man saw it and told Joab, and said, “I just saw Absalom hanging in a terebinth tree!”

11 So Joab said to the man who told him, “You just saw him! And why did you not strike him there to the ground? I would have given you ten shekels of silver and a belt.”

12 But the man said to Joab, “Though I were to receive a thousand shekels of silver in my hand, I would not raise my hand against the king’s son. For in our hearing the king commanded you and Abishai and Ittai, saying, [k]‘Beware lest anyone touch the young man Absalom!’ 13 Otherwise I would have dealt falsely against my own life. For there is nothing hidden from the king, and you yourself would have set yourself against me.

14 Then Joab said, “I cannot linger with you.” And he took three spears in his hand and thrust them through Absalom’s heart, while he was still alive in the midst of the terebinth tree. 15 And ten young men who bore Joab’s armor surrounded Absalom, and struck and killed him.

16 So Joab blew the trumpet, and the people returned from pursuing Israel. For Joab held back the people. 17 And they took Absalom and cast him into a large pit in the woods, and laid a very large heap of stones over him. Then all Israel fled, everyone to his tent.

18 Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and set up a [l]pillar for himself, which is in the King’s Valley. For he said, “I have no son to keep my name in remembrance.” He called the pillar after his own name. And to this day it is called Absalom’s Monument.

David Hears of Absalom’s Death

19 Then Ahimaaz the son of Zadok said, “Let me run now and take the news to the king, how the Lord has [m]avenged him of his enemies.”

20 And Joab said to him, “You shall not take the news this day, for you shall take the news another day. But today you shall take no news, because the king’s son is dead.” 21 Then Joab said to the Cushite, “Go, tell the king what you have seen.” So the Cushite bowed himself to Joab and ran.

22 And Ahimaaz the son of Zadok said again to Joab, “But [n]whatever happens, please let me also run after the Cushite.”

So Joab said, “Why will you run, my son, since you have no news ready?”

23 “But whatever happens,” he said, “let me run.”

So he said to him, “Run.” Then Ahimaaz ran by way of the plain, and outran the Cushite.

24 Now David was sitting between the two gates. And the watchman went up to the roof over the gate, to the wall, lifted his eyes and looked, and there was a man, running alone. 25 Then the watchman cried out and told the king. And the king said, “If he is alone, there is news in his mouth.” And he came rapidly and drew near.

26 Then the watchman saw another man running, and the watchman called to the gatekeeper and said, “There is another man, running alone!”

And the king said, “He also brings news.”

27 So the watchman said, [o]“I think the running of the first is like the running of Ahimaaz the son of Zadok.”

And the king said, “He is a good man, and comes with good news.”

28 So Ahimaaz called out and said to the king, [p]“All is well!” Then he bowed down with his face to the earth before the king, and said, “Blessed be the Lord your God, who has delivered up the men who raised their hand against my lord the king!”

29 The king said, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

Ahimaaz answered, “When Joab sent the king’s servant and me your servant, I saw a great tumult, but I did not know what it was about.

30 And the king said, “Turn aside and stand here.” So he turned aside and stood still.

31 Just then the Cushite came, and the Cushite said, “There is good news, my lord the king! For the Lord has avenged you this day of all those who rose against you.”

32 And the king said to the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

So the Cushite answered, “May the enemies of my lord the king, and all who rise against you to do harm, be like that young man!”

David’s Mourning for Absalom

33 Then the king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went, he said thus: “O my son Absalom—my son, my son Absalom—if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son!”


  1. 2 Samuel 16:7 Lit. man of bloodshed
  2. 2 Samuel 16:7 worthless man
  3. 2 Samuel 16:8 Lit. man of bloodshed
  4. 2 Samuel 16:12 So with Kt., LXX, Syr., Vg.; Qr. my eyes; Tg. tears of my eyes
  5. 2 Samuel 16:13 Lit. dusted him with dust
  6. 2 Samuel 17:2 tremble with fear
  7. 2 Samuel 17:23 Lit. gave charge concerning his house
  8. 2 Samuel 17:25 Jether, 1 Chr. 2:17
  9. 2 Samuel 17:25 So with MT, some LXX mss., Tg.; some LXX mss. Ishmaelite (cf. 1 Chr. 2:17); Vg. of Jezrael
  10. 2 Samuel 18:1 Lit. attended to
  11. 2 Samuel 18:12 Vss. ‘Protect the young man Absalom for me!’
  12. 2 Samuel 18:18 monument
  13. 2 Samuel 18:19 vindicated
  14. 2 Samuel 18:22 Lit. be what may
  15. 2 Samuel 18:27 Lit. I see the running
  16. 2 Samuel 18:28 Peace be to you

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