Life Giving Testimony

“The life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us— that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.”  1 John 1:2-3 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father – Thank you for all that you have done for us. Thank you for all that you are doing. Thank you for all you will do.  Please strengthen our testimony by being glorified in our lives. Please use it to encourage and heal others. Thank you, thank you, thank you that my life can glorify you. In the name of Jesus – Amen

Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! The LIFE was manifested! The Amplified classic version says, “Life [an aspect of His being] was manifested” – and I say, “and aspect?! Just and aspect?!” Jesus is Life! Jesus is the Word of Life! He is the Word – And the Word is a sword! And it all is LIFE! It all brings life!
New International Version says, “The Life appeared”.  Jesus has appeared! Amen?! He is real. He walked this earth as the Son of God and died for our sin and was resurrected for our deliverance!
The New Living Translation says, “one who is life itself was revealed to us”!!!
Dear Lord, reveal yourself through me!!! Reveal yourself and life to my son! Reveal yourself and life to the people we are all praying for – we lift each and every one of them up to you, begging you to reveal yourself and awaken them!!! And help us to testify, so you can use us to answer that prayer for others – by being used by you, for you to be revealed in someone else’s life! In Jesus Name we Pray!!!

Life is ζωὴ (zōē). Strong’s Greek 2222: “Life, both of physical (present) and of spiritual (particularly future) existence. From zao; life.”

Life!!!! We see this same Greek word in another passage written by John, where Jesus says:
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 ESV

Abundant LIFE for us both spiritually and physically, for the time when Jesus walked the earth, for you and me today, and for the future mankind – abundantly. And once Jesus is manifested, this Life is as eternal as the son of God is eternal! As God, Himself, is eternal.

I have jumped right in today because ZOE is something to get excited about! Jesus is life – and this is transformative. I am telling you so because I have seen it and testify to it and proclaim to you eternal life.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NIV

The thief comes to steal – He stole so many years from me and tried to kill me: He destroyed relationships, he caused confusion, he killed my unborn child – a miscarriage, he stole my peace and hope, he caused sorrow and devastation.
It does take strength and courage; fear not, the Lord shall provide grace. I share the Lord and the enemy still comes to steal, kill, and destroy – It is his response to God being glorified!. He is trying to hold my mother captive, as well as my spiritually asleep love ones – HE CANNOT BECAUSE MY GOD IS LIFE!. He is trying to destroy my house God has made the damage minimal because my God is LIFE! And he is try to disrupt my finances (other large dollar repairs and replacements that I have need of) MY GOD IS LIFE – ABUNDANT LIFE!!! So I have peace, I have life, and let me tell you all the Good things God is doing!!!

GLORY TO GOD!!! Through grace I am saved! I have LIFE! I have life abundantly – say it! Proclaim it! Speak it out and be blessed! Speak it in the name of Jesus over you, your house and your children!  God is doing a good thing in your life! Yes, yours. You are not reading this on accident! No! This Life is for you as well.

Speak it out it – LIFE is your testimony!  Jesus is your testimony!!! He is the Son of the mighty God! He is the reflection of God! He is our intercessor!  He is LORD!!!  And therefore all Glory goes to God for His great goodness to us! Hallelujah!!!

“that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.” 1 John 1:3 ESV

We have Jesus manifested in our lives so we can share and other can have fellowship with us – and our fellowship is with the Father and Son.  Do we understand???

Fellowship κοινωνία (koinōnia) Strong’s Greek 2842: From koinonos; partnership, i.e. participation, or [intimacy], or benefaction.

Indeed our participation, partnership, intimacy, relationship, bond, benefaction, all blessings and grace, and life IS WITH the Father and WITH His Son, Jesus Christ. And when we share, others who believe become and are our family – brothers and sister who can share this relationship with the Holy God and with each other.  Our real relationship with them is for the glory of God to bring others to this life – abundant life.

A life of freedom without bondage. A life of deliverance from demonic influences.  A life of true love and peace that goes beyond the human ability to understand.  A life of power and authority. A healed life. A restored life! An abundant life!!!

That thief has stolen and God is restoring! That thief has killed and God is healing and bringing life! That thief has destroyed and shall be destroyed!!! Jesus said: “IT IS FINISHED!”

Dear Lord we thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!! You are such a good life giving God!!! We ask, because your word says to ask, for restoration of what the thief has stolen – restore Life! And life abundantly!!! And we thank you for it – we praise you because you are able and are restoring!!! In the name of Jesus!!!  And Lord we ask for life in the areas of us that have been killed by the thief! We are born again, sharing in the resurrection because you brought our death cause by our sins, back to life in the name of Jesus!!!

You had a dream from God and it has died?  Ask the life giver to bring it to life! You had a hope that has seemed to have been killed – The life giver is bringing back to life as we ask!  You have stood on dead promises made by man too long!!! Ask for life giving promises from the Father! You are in bondage to something dead or grief – Jesus breaks those chains when we ask and brings life! LIFE!!! Praise the Lord of LIFE – the Son of God who IS LIFE!!!

Thank you, dear Jesus – for our deliverance.  I ask, where there was destruction please bring construction and restoration and reestablish us in the victory of the cross! Thank you Lord Jesus for Life! You are working, even where we cannot see in the physical realm your works. In the name of Jesus!!

I hope you pray these prayers – make them personal. Let the Lord heal and bring more life. And if you already have life – you will have abundance and where you have abundance of Life – you will have exceeding abundance! Hallelujah!

I have a relationship with the Father God, through His Son, Jesus Christ and fellowship with them – yet, this blesses me and restores me and overflows.  In Life there is a consuming fire refreshing my soul and spirit. There is more healing – more goodness, more blessing yet to come.  The eternal life is great and wonderful – always remember these promises are for here, now – in the midst of our current battles with the enemy.  My God is a warring God – fighting for us with all love, all life, all hope in promises He has never failed on. His glory shines on us in LIFE to be a testimony that He lives! He is alive and well and working – God is still in control!!!

If you don’t already, and today you would like to have a relationship with a God who can communicate with you and be part of your life (and protect you) – one who is full of mighty power and tender love, then please know that I have put the “A, B, C’s of Salvation” in my introduction. Please click here to follow the link.**

Thank you for reading ~ Grace be with you
Be healthy and blessed ~ Love one another
~ Watch and Pray ~
Seek God & keep your eyes on Jesus!

Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!

Testify in Action

14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
20 You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? 21 Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. 24 You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.
25 In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? 26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” 
James 2:14-26 NIV

Dear Heavenly Father – Thank you for you continued grace and lessons on how to better serve you. Help us to be obedient in sharing what you are doing.  Let my testimony strengthen, encourage, and heal others; and most importantly, let it glorify you. In the name of Jesus – Amen

Well, Glory to God, here we are again reading and studying the Word of the Lord. (In John chapter 1 Jesus is the Word – so we are spending our time together in Christ, for the glory of God. Amen?

As I have been sharing the process I traversed last week to bring about deliverance and healing – and as my pastor told us to read the book of James (because sometimes he gives us homework) – and as I thought about how the above passage can and probably should be applied in a few ways – and as all this thing accumulate I feel I should share.

he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:5-7 NIV

First we know it is not by works we are saved – in fact Ephesians 2:8 says it is by faith. (But don’t you just love the washing, the renewal by the Holy Spirit and the justification by grace!) So, most people read James 2 (above) and apply this: it’s not by works we are saved, but faith compels us to do good words.

But is something here that I notice besides the obvious: Faith is an action, obedience and sacrifice.

When I was praying for my deliverance from wounds and strongholds – I was reminded of this.  The example of Abraham and Rehab. Where faith required an action. And in both cases, faith also required a sacrifice. That is right. Faith to be effective does require action and sacrifice. In an earlier blog we studied that faith requires obedience – which is also true. Active obedience with sacrifice. Abraham was obedient, (almost) sacrificed his son, and took action which resulted in blessings for Abraham and glory to God. Rehab was obedient, sacrificed her safety and future in her land, and took action which resulted in salvation for Rehab and glory to God. And the blessings flowed through their line for many generations.

Let us look at another example – The story of Naaman found in 2 Kings.  He was a great military commander who ended up with leprosy. That alone was probably pretty humbling. He could no longer do his job effectively and was to be cast out, away from his friends and family so they wouldn’t catch it.  But he knew if he went to the prophet Elisha, God could heal him.  Elisha sent his messenger to tell him that if he jumped in the Jordan river seven times, Naaman would be healed.  Naaman had to grow a little faith because at first he would not do it. But eventually Naaman humbled himself more, became obedient, sacrificed his stature, and took action and the result was healing and restoration for Naaman and Glory to God.

So when asking God for release from the barriers in my life, including demonic strongholds and generational curses, I ask God – what action must I be obedient to in order to be faithful (knowing it would probably be a sacrifice).
I’ll use the bathing example – Taking showers has always been a struggle as it is a vulnerable act wherein I was made a victim. I was clean. I washed up and occasionally took baths. It wasn’t being clean that I had the blockage in – it was the shower.  So God told me to take a shower – but when I did, to pray for complete healing and worship him.  Clearly, as the pipe broke in my house, this was effective. (Yes, I am saying that a demon broke my pipe.)
I was obedient, the sacrifice was my self-made safety, and I took action. The result was my healing and glory to God – and the outcome of the mini flood in my home shall be more glory to God!

I have a friend who is struggling with an illness and addiction to sugar. God showed me and I shared with her that like Naaman, she is healed she must first eliminate sugars from her diet. I watch her day by day struggle with pain from her illness – yet she refuses to cut processed sugars from her life. She pleads with God for healing yet there isn’t obedience, sacrifice or action and the result is continued pain and no glory to God.  She might be reading this and again, like every time we talk, I want to encourage you to be healed. Take the action! Jump in the Jordan River where there is no sweet treat – but total healing. I love you girl, but I cannot do it for you. (Could all of my readers please pray for her? God has great things in store for her on the other side. Her inheritance from her family, situation and God is not pain and illness! It is blessings and power!)

Healing and deliverance is for NOW – so we can testify for God’s glory. TODAY – God loves you so much he wants to deliver you, heal you, and bring you in for a closer walk with Him and it will prepare you for what tomorrow holds.
Dear Lord, show us the areas in our life where you want to bless us but we need to demonstrate faith.  You said if we had a small mustard seed size faith we could say to a mountain move, so Lord, as we look at our mountains that need moving and we muster up that small faith show us what we must do to obey, to sacrifice and help us to take action so that you shall be gloried in our lives because of our faith.

Faith in the small things have the same principle – just a smaller scale. There is always and action (obedience and sacrifice) whenever faith is required.  God will not ask a huge sacrifice for a small thing and He will not require a small sacrifice for a huge thing.  Most small prayers of faith that get you through the day require nothing more than you asking. The prayer is the obedience and the sacrifice. 
Sometimes we have to ask forgiveness for not following through with the action immediately when told. And that is ok – He will forgive you.

Whatever it is that God is revealing to you that you must take action on – the other side of taking the action is better than the side of not taking the action.  Besides glorifying God which is our testimony (the things we share that God has done) – you will have a closer relationship with Him and grow your faith.

If you don’t already, and today you would like to have a relationship with a God who can communicate with you and be part of your life (and protect you) – one who is full of mighty power and tender love, then please know that I have put the “A, B, C’s of Salvation” in my introduction. Please click here to follow the link.**

Thank you for reading ~ Grace be with you
Be healthy and blessed ~ Love one another
~ Watch and Pray ~
Seek God & keep your eyes on Jesus!

Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!


“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor shall there be any after me.” Isaiah 43:10 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father – Thank you for the opportunity to be counted among your chosen servants. And Lord, the few you have led to this site are also chosen to learn these things which I am learning and sharing. Help us to be obedient in sharing what you are doing.  Let my testimony strengthen, encourage, and heal others; and most importantly, let it glorify you. In the name of Jesus – Amen

This past week of deliverance has been amazing! As I shared yesterday – I was digging up deep wounds with God and healing and getting delivered from any stronghold and things that might have been in my way of experiencing the fullness of God.  I should clarify that I was not saying I was demon possessed and evil. But I am saying that even those who pray, fast and study the word can have stronghold that have not been removed from their lives.  Mine contained an ancestral element.
Like I had explained, my mother fell ill during this time and wouldn’t communicate with me. I heard from her finally today and asked her if she was feeling better; and her answer was: “Yes, it’s back under the surface.”  She doesn’t even realize the deep truth of what she said.  Then she went on with anxiety, fear and worry. She did not want to talk about God at all. I quoted:
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6 ESV
She rolled her eyes at me so hard, I could hear it through the phone, and the voice full of anger and anxiety were nothing short of demonic. I sit here, in peace. Wrapped in the arms of my savior. Her anxiety is hers. I just sat there praying for her. She has opted to hang on and not be delivered. I chose to be free.

It is high time we wake up (Romans 13:11) and demand our freedom from the enemy – It is time to pull down strongholds (Luke 10:19 & 2 Cor. 10:3-5) and empty ourselves of our flesh and our bondage!!! (Galatians 5:1-26)  Emptied of flesh and bondage! Emptied of flesh and bondage! And fill us oh Lord with the Holy Spirit!

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV

How long must a pure and holy God – in Spirit dwell in a temple with his enemy.  Stronghold give the enemy space. And we must choose which master we will serve!

Time to clean house – Lord, please start with me! And fill us with the Holy Spirit – pour out those latter rains and fill us with fire!!! Today is the day, now is the time (2 Cor. 6:2).

Let me testify what the Lord is doing!! In Exodus, we saw Moses lead the children of Israel out of Egypt – and the sea parted – and when safely on the other side the waters closed.  The children were separated by water.   Then again to the other side of the river and again they were separated by water. In 1 kings 17 Elijah prophesied a drought, then God led him to the wilderness by a creek – He was separated from the people, by water.  So many examples. John the Baptist, baptized in water for the repentance of sin. Separated by water! And here I am struggling to shower because all my life, showers were unsafe. I am delivered! In the name of Jesus! I am separated by water! Baptized (both as an adult in the baptism of John the Baptist and in cleanliness of showers/bathing)!  Glory to God. Lord, separate us!!!

In conclusion of my battle for my deliverance, I took a shower. A long shower. I prayed and worshiped the Lord. The warm water ran out and I stood in the cool water just worshiping God! Delivered and flushing those demons out of my house, down the drain.  

And a water pipe broke.  It’s leaking water and flooding the first floor. Due to the pandemic and summer vacations and such, I cannot get a plumber here for 3 days. As my, I mean God’s home has a slow leak with water damage.  But let me tell you how good the Lord is! I prayed that demon OUT! Out of the pipe it thinks it is stuck in! That glorious water of life is still flowing and washing it out! Out of this blessing God allows me to call home.
And as any believer after a week like that – when you cannot get a plumber and have a flood – I anointed the house with oil and prayed. God has cleansed me – His temple and is cleaning the house which He prepared as a place to protect me.  I have peace, joy and excitement as I see heaven raining down around me!

Watch and see what the Lord is doing!!! Glory!!!

And then, I get a phone call from my brother to pray for my backslidden sister.  LORD, have mercy on her and extend her grace!  I have been praying for her, so ok. I call him. I tell him of my deliverance and I tell him how mom is still in bondage. 
He says: thanks – you could have told me and warned me – I’ve seen the fallout.
Me: If God had told me to tell you I would have.
He proceeds to tell me how God is doing a good thing is his life – which is his to share. But God is breaking my generation free!!!!
I tell him what is going on with my sister, because God has already made it known to me.
He told me I was right and it is progressively getting worse (like life or death kind of worse) – especially this last week. 

Well that is because this cursed demon was being tugged at! My family was its home and I cast it out in the name of Jesus!!! It is written, I have been given authority, in the name of Jesus. Be expelled from me and my child, be expelled from my brother and his children, and be expelled from my sister IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!! Be expelled from my mother in the name of Jesus! We are called by the Lord – children of the most high! His plan and anointing shall not so easily be overcome with evil!!!

Today is the day – now is the time! Take back your self! Take back your children! Take back your homes! Take is back! By His stipes we are healed and delivered (Isaiah 53:5)!  He is restoring what the locust and the thief have stolen from us (Joel 2:25)! Take back your families!!! Break all curses and deliver us Oh Lord!!! We humble ourselves and repent – clean us and prepare us for what you have for us tomorrow!

The Lord is doing great and marvelous things!!! Glory to God!!!

More testifying!  A dear friend I have been praying for daily – has professed He has known God placed a calling on His life since he was a child.  My dear friend is making small baby steps. This man knows the Bible (conceptually) almost as well as I do. He does not know book and verse and he cannot quote it – therefore it is corrupted. It is almost, but not quite right. But because he knows so much He must get out of his own way, get into the Bible and get freed from His sins.  But he made another step forward – He told me he would like to be baptized! Another to be separated by water!!! I am wise enough to know, we are a ways off from an actually baptism and his free will resistance to his calling is making him quite the Jonah.  But my God can provide a whale this far in land to swallow him whole! My God is a mighty God – watch and see what He is up to!!!

Your turn! Testify!!! Tell us, in the comments, of the glorious things our heavenly Father is doing in your lives. Nothing is too small of an act of God – testify, bring Him glory and be faithful in the little things and He will trust you with the bigger things!

If you don’t already, and today you would like to have a relationship with a God who can communicate with you and be part of your life (and protect you) – one who is full of mighty power and tender love, then please know that I have put the “A, B, C’s of Salvation” in my introduction. Please click here to follow the link.**

Thank you for reading ~ Grace be with you
Be healthy and blessed ~ Love one another
~ Watch and Pray ~
Seek God & keep your eyes on Jesus!

Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!

My testimony

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah – Psalm 61:1-4 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father – Help me Lord, as I share and I am healed form my past. I can only write this with an abundant outpouring of your grace. Help me while I am obedient in sharing.  Let my testimony strengthen, encourage, and heal others; and most importantly, let it glorify you. In the name of Jesus – Amen

As I said in yesterday’s post – I am uprooting one plant at a time – telling you my testimony and letting God complete the healing within me. I started to pull and even thought the surface looked small its root system was deep and goes all the way back to my beginning and I think we have uprooted it all – all interconnected.

My parents divorced when I was in kindergarten, age 5 or 6.  I don’t remember much. I have heard stories from both sides and from my siblings.  My parents fought a lot and violently and my mother drank all the time. Then we lived with just my dad. Then we lived with just my mom and visited my dad. My mom didn’t want us at first and she dated a few men. One gave us all waterbeds. It all seemed to make since that my parents didn’t live together anymore – they didn’t fight as much since they didn’t see each other.  I adjusted quickly and continued being a happy over energized child.
My mom settled down with a guy (he moved in with us) and they started going to church (and taking us). They got married when I was 7.  We moved to the country later that year (mid-school year).  I maintained being a happy, well-adjusted child who was probably too full of energy! (Since birth I had many of the symptoms of my disabilities which did include temper tantrums and defiant behaviors – but they were obviously my disabilities and overall, I was happy and well adjusted.)

The first summer in the new house – my world forever changed. The next year in school I acted out and became an unruly child. My grades and learning went downhill.  Apparently I was worse at home as well – this was the year they didn’t know how to deal with me anymore and I started the process of testing which lead to all of my current diagnoses: Asperger’s Syndrome, High IQ, ADHD, Impulse Control Disorder, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and more.  Due to my very high IQ, the following school year they put me in the gifted class, assuming I was acting out because I was bored.

The truth was, my sister and I were getting sexually abused by my stepfather. The abuse continued on and off for years.  We were in high school (around 15?) when mom finally kicked him out.  He wasn’t gone long (4 to 6 months?) because we were poor – even when he was there we were poor, but mom couldn’t manage to feed 3 kids and work and deal with two of us with “special needs” and manage her drinking.  Mom didn’t finally leave him until I was 27, and he was accused of abusing another child.
My mother’s drinking binges were on and off after she married him – not steady. But she was always unpredictable. You never knew if you were coming home from school to “nice-mom” or if she was going to beat us with whatever object was closet. She was unable to be consistent, keep promises, or control her rage.

You don’t know how hard it is to tell this story. I may not have the details (like age and months) correct, but I don’t know if that matters.

I accepted Christ for the first time as my Lord and savior when I was 7.  Let me tell ya – I had faith! I believed every bit of it.  Because I had these behavioral problems, mom often kept me with her at church and I saw God move! And I understood it. I have been to prayer meetings that shake a church!  Mom was always worried that someday “they” would come for our Bibles. So, mom made us memorize our Bibles. Especially me – probably because I wasn’t acting out when I was memorizing. I have a good chunk memorized and I am very glad for it.

I have all these glorious memories of all that God did all while at home I lived in fear.  Don’t get me wrong – there were definitely good time – but I do not want to uproot the good that God gave me and my siblings to manage through the bad.  Looking back, through the knowledge and love of Christ that I have now, I see all the grace. So much grace! I never heard a sermon on grace growing up, at least that I can remember – but this past year, God has given me such a revelation of grace. And looking back at it – He has always blessed me with such an abundance of it.

I recall, I prayed for help – prayed for a way out – prayed for God to save me – and the passage above was my hope. I remember night after night begging God to make it all stop. I even prayed He would take me from this life. But by grace He helped me get through it.

I recently watched a sermon about how trauma can open a door for demonic strongholds. In my life – I see that is it quite possibly true.  Abusing a child is a spirit of rebellion and obviously an impure (sexual) spirit. Alcoholism is a spirit of addiction. Also, many things like addiction and a spirit of infirmity can also be passed down from generation to generation – and some of the strongholds in my life have been.

Despite loving God and trying to have a relationship with Him, I had learned acting out as a means of coping and as I got older that turned into rebellion which inevitably became rebellion against God. (Anyone wonder where I picked up the rebellious spirit?) I learned afterschool activities and church activities were a means to escape and as I got older, drugs and alcohol became a means to escape and a door opened to addiction. (Anyone else seeing a pattern?)

I believed a lie – I was not lovable.  My parents had flat out said it, besides the way they treated me. Desperate for love I explored every avenue to be loved. Desperation leads to bad decision and that leads to more pain, more abuse, and more poor coping. I ran into the arms of anyone – anyone – who said they would love me – I ran in with all my rebellion, impurity, addiction and lies. And couldn’t understand why I got hurt every single time.

Then comes a long list of bad decisions and behavior that led to a long list of “been there, done that” of sins.  If it’s a sin, I probably have participated in some way in it. Sigh.

I learned I was not safe. I don’t know if I ever have even felt safe. 

I suppose at this point, you might say with my poor coping skills, it is all justified – but it isn’t. God reveal His truth to me as a child. Never say children cannot comprehend the Bible or things of God – because I could and did and knew very well there was another way. I was wrong and have since repented of it.  But now as an adult all that trauma has left some interesting trigger responses in me – that must stop. I must be completely delivered. Emptied so the Holy Spirit can fill the void.

I still do not trust people.  I do not take showers unless I am home alone and the house is locked up tight.  I meet people who aren’t predictable and consistent and I become more guarded and sometimes panic.  I cannot miss a goal, therefore I am driven to just get everything done as fast as I can without setting goal, pacing myself, or practicing better planning.  I dislike surprises so much that even if it is a good surprise I might actually get upset and cry.  And I think I might always feel like, if I can just love everyone enough, everything will be alright.

That last one – Just love everyone… that has a lot of scriptural backing. We might want me to keep the part about loving everyone – let’s dump the part about my love fixing anything. Only God’s love and mercies can heal.  

As I have shared before how God brought me back – laying on the flood crying while my world was falling down around me and said, come on child, I got you – time to let Me love you. And grace transformed me!

It took me a week to compose this, sorry it is so long.  I confess I cleaned it up for all of you. This is dirty rotten work. And every night I lay awake mulling over the past. Praying to God and fighting to control my mind as it wanders off to seek revenge for pains or as it begins to believe I am unlovable (Again, it’s a lie – I AM LOVABLE).

I was unsure what to do with all this. I want to be healed of the remnants of pain. I want to be free from any bondages created. I don’t have a beautiful plump lamb to lay on an altar and sacrifice to my heavenly father (besides, Jesus took the place on the altar for my sins). But symbolically speaking I laid my sins and my hurt and that tightening of my throat and my pounding heart and my tears and my fears on God’s altar.
Dear God this hurts. Lord that hurts. Remember when this happened – that really sucked. Remember when that happened – that was horrible. Lord – this, I don’t even have words for it can you just do what you do with it?  That person, please deal with them and save them – the other person, please deal with them and save them.  Oh God, Oh God! Save me! Heal me please.
Yep, this is how I laid awake. This is how I dealt with my waking hours as floods of things rose to the surface.

I do not have many bible verses to share – I did not find a blue print for working through these things.  But as each came up, I felt it and acknowledged it, I acknowledge any sin I have committed in association with it, I begged for forgiveness and help with forgiving those people involved.  I asked God to pull it out at the roots and fill that space with the Holy Spirit.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 NIV  

Ah, this is what He is doing. Night and day.  Each morning I expected to wake up feeling new, or different.  But this is a deep change, not a surface change.

I also fought the lies: this isn’t working. Why are you trudging up all this nonsense? This isn’t God and this isn’t necessary.  Ooof – there are things with stronghold that do not want to leave. 

The day I began this process, my mother fell ill – she said it was her autoimmune disease. She hurt and had difficulty moving and a migraine.  I checked on her for the first few days – things got worse and she also became confused and scared.  She became angry that I was calling. So I stopped.  I pulled at this demonic weed and the ancestral one(s) dug into her.  Either it will break and I will be free, or it will be pulled up from her as well.  I have not checked on her, but judging by the fact that she hasn’t called me, I think it broke – making me free and her in bondage.

But I cannot leave this on a down note – Let me tell you the things God did do this week: He revealed Himself is powerful ways over things I was helpless against. God orchestrated this whole marvelous times of healing.  It’s such a huge hug – I am in His care and promises.  God is real. I believe. He is not only capable of healing me, He wants to heal me and He is healing me.

I was able to witness to 2 more co-workers. Both battling fear and anxiety.  I have been able to follow up with them as well. One gave her heart to the Lord and has begun her relationship with a great and mighty God – whose love and mercy is unimaginably amazing.

If you don’t already, and today you would like to have a relationship with a God who can communicate with you and be part of your life (and protect you) – one who is full of mighty power and tender love, then please know that I have put the “A, B, C’s of Salvation” in my introduction. Please click here to follow the link.**

Thank you for reading ~ Grace be with you
Be healthy and blessed ~ Love one another
~ Watch and Pray ~
Seek God & keep your eyes on Jesus!

Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!


“My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord God I will come; I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone. O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.” – Psalm 71:15-18 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father – Help me Lord, as I share and I am healed form my past. I can only write this with an abundant outpouring of your grace. Help me while I am obedient in sharing.  Let my testimony strengthen, encourage, and heal others; and most importantly, let it glorify you. In the name of Jesus – Amen

God says it is time for me to share my testimony. He also wants to uproot the wounds that are found in some of those dark places and give me healing.  Sadly I have been ignoring Him on this topic for a while. But yesterday He pinned me down and made me listen and I listened for a while. He sent me a notification of a sermon to watch – I said it was bed time and went to sleep.

I am in awe of God – He continues to use me even though I am so imperfect. He just wants us to have a heart that wants Him, then He works on the rest.  The truth, and the fact that I struggle, is also part of my testimony. Like Paul said so many times – my struggle proves that it is God and God alone who is in control of these studies and He is glorified all the more. It is not me.  

“And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” Revelation 12:11 ESV

Sharing our testimony is one of three equal parts of our weapon to fight the enemy and overcome the world. The first is the blood of the Lamb (the work of the cross, the life, death, defeat of sin and our redemption, salvation and healing, and His resurrection with power). The other is our complete and utter surrender to God – loving nothing, not even our own life more than we love and submit to God’s will.  Which lead me to a dangerous pray – In my zeal, and knowledge that what I was praying was right, I prayed that God would empty me and fill me to overflowing with the spirit.  And as I have mentioned in recent posts – how can a temple with a demonic strong hold ever truly be filled when there is a spot owned by the enemy?  And I have pondered and questioned – can the Holy Spirit even dwell in the same temple as a demonic spirit?  I am the temple.

I woke up this morning and finally watched that sermon that God sent me. I balled for hours. I prayed for hours. I worshiped for hours. God said through it that the message was for me and it was time to deal with all the wounds I have had in my life, once and for all. He was bringing them to the surface and will uproot them. Because some of them have evil strongholds attached – it is time to be emptied.

I have no greater fear – then having to face those skeletons.  Ya see, I did some healing work and I am well adjusted. Its done, over and in the past and we can’t change it – So I moved on. BUT THAT ISN’T HEALING!  And in my pride (oooo He did tell me that pride had spread through and infected me. I would have never thought I was a prideful person!)  but my pride made me hide away the wounds and all the baggage that goes with it.  It’s time to clean house.

“Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began,” 2 Timothy 1:8-9 ESV

Well.  One of the leading causes of pride is shame.  I am about to tear myself open and expose those things I am ashamed of. The things I regret. The things I wish never happened. The things I want to go away.  BUT Jesus took me from there to here – and it was an amazing journey and continues to be an amazing journey of grace. Grace. This is my testimony. “Do not be ashamed of the testimony.”

Shame is what Adam and Eve felt when they had sinned.  Is it possible that buried with these wounds are unconfessed, unforgiven sins that also need to be addressed. God’s word says:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
We are to confess and ask forgiveness. Never does God obligate Himself to forgive unconfessed sins. We must humble ourselves, swallow our pride, and lay it all out.
he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Then we can put aside shame and stand fast in the freedom and the strength of God’s glory! It is for His glory that we are not who we used to be!!! Then shame can be banished.

I thought all day, and prayed about how to approach this. I thought maybe chronologically – but back at the beginning is probable the deep roots – I should dig around the shallow roots and pull them first through grace.  I was a wounded child which led to poor choices and perpetuated the cycle of wounds.  An example would be that in response to struggles in my life, I drank. Heavily. Which of course makes nothing better – it continues the problems. I no longer drink.
And when I say that you have no idea how I got to drinking heavily, because I am telling the story out of order.  But let us grab ahold of one plant at a time and begin to uproot it and let the story unfold.   

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:3-7 ESV

I wish it was as easy to say as these verses above – essentially it is my testimony. But God says I will have to discuss certain issues and topic. Obviously not digging in deep today. Today it is important for you to know why we must testify and why we should be bold in doing so.

You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.” Isaiah 43:10a ESV

I have a relationship with God – I am a witness to His grace and mercy. I have experienced His love.  A preacher from a church I used to attend always say: I man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument. When we share our testimony we have the upper hand.

Like I am doing, today, challenge yourself to compose your testimony.  Do you still have things to uproot, confront, and anything still hidden deep down?  Are you ashamed?  Is there hidden unconfessed sins?

Let me invite you, with your walk with God, to come down this same path with me. We can heal together, grow in grace and show God’s glory – Look what the Lord has done and is doing in us!!!

If you don’t already, and today you would like to have a relationship with a God who can communicate with you and be part of your life (and protect you) – one who is full of mighty power and tender love, then please know that I have put the “A, B, C’s of Salvation” in my introduction. Please click here to follow the link.**

Thank you for reading ~ Grace be with you
Be healthy and blessed ~ Love one another
~ Watch and Pray ~
Seek God & keep your eyes on Jesus!

Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!

Am I offended?

As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. “Tell us,” they said, “when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?”
Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.
“Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.”
Matthew 24:3-14 NIV

Dear Heavenly Father – Let you message quickly grow roots in us that we are able to do your will. Open our ears to hear and eyes to see and open our understanding so we may obey you. in the name of Jesus – Amen

The passage above certainly describes the world we live in. Every day things are getting more and more evil, and more and more unbelievably crazy. I keep hearing people say they want things to go back to normal – that will never happen. Prophecy must be fulfilled. 

I woke up with a bunch to do and a message on offenses strong in my heart. I immediate wrote down my thoughts and now I have time to compose them into a post.  You see, everyone seems to be offended. Everyone seems to go out of their way to be offended. It’s crazy. But as we see above, offenses will actually be a sign of the times.  Let’s read it again in a different version:

10 And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. 11 Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. 12 And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.” Matthew 24:10-12 NKJV

But, have you ever actually been offended? Of course.  We all have. Being offended isn’t new.  Being offended to this extreme is new – offended to the point where we are cancelling television shows in mass, boycotting products in mass, and re-writing offensive history – this degree of offense is new.  There is an evil spirit behind it.  So we must keep our wit about us and be guarded again falling victim to offenses.

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11 ESV

Once upon a time, a group of men in a church I was a member of – rallied against women, particularly single mothers (which I was one). They claimed we were evil and sinful or men would not have left us alone to raise the children. We were evil because we had to work, therefore we couldn’t be godly women staying home, keeping the house and raising the children.  Well – I was offended. I went to the pastor who said, well, they are right because you aren’t keeping your home and raising your child, but you are leaving your child with someone else to raise and you are working. If you were Godly, God would provide a man to provide for you and your child and you could stay home. Well, I told him to take that up with God, as He has not yet provided for me that way and has provided for me a job so I can feed my child and God provided a godly woman to help me raise my child and God provided in His way (and His ways aren’t our ways). I was then, even more offended. If I was right or wrong – it doesn’t matter anymore, my child is an adult and God still had not yet provided a Godly man to head my household – Jesus is the only man running it. And I was offended.

Now don’t be offended, Christian sisters, who have careers – I am not saying you are wrong. I have had a good career and only recently have had struggles, but we have discussed these things already. I am not saying they were wrong or I was wrong – I am not sure the either of us were right or wrong.
I look back and strongly believe there was a spirit of division and offense running around that church – I left and the church split. I was obviously not the only one offended.  From it birthed four or more churches and some members went to other existing churches and to this day all of these churches have hurt and animosity for each other.

“Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” Luke 17:1-4 NKJV

Jesus said offenses will come.  Here He tells us how to deal with them.  Now, I came back to God and had the dilemma of which church to attend as I was still acquainted with so many people from that original church and knew I would offend some if I went to another church and visa versa.  God lead me to a church that is an hour away. That is where I get fed and grow.

The body of Christ is still the body of Christ and although I found a spot in a shoulder, I know the fingers on the hand where I came from are not working together and hold bitterness against each other.  It is heavy today in my heart. Especially since how to resolve these things is in the Bible multiple times.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17 ESV

Forgiveness.  I have popped different verses and thoughts on forgiveness in this blog many time. Of course we cannot be forgiven if we do not forgive. We all immediate think of the things the world has offended us with. I try to remind everyone to think and remember all that need forgiving.

Forgive your Pastor. Forgive other Pastors. Forgive your brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. Forgive yourself. And forgive God. 
Offenses lead to demonic foot holds in your life.  If the enemy owns a foot of you – are you then completely God’s? Can the Holy Spirit fill you completely if you have reserved for the enemy own a small part?

“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3 ESV

Offenses cause unforgiveness; unforgiveness causes bitterness; bitterness breeds anger; anger builds pride. The chain reaction continues if it is not addressed and suddenly the enemy has more than a foot hold. Slowly the spirit of the Lord is pushed out of us. Therefore examine your heart – see if there is any offense you must forgive. Repent of your unforgiveness (literally means say to God that you are sorry for harboring unforgiveness and ask for help to uproot it from your life – and ask God to use you to bring unity to Christ’s body). It is time to build up the kingdom of God. No one will be drawn to becoming a Christian if Christians are all bitter, angry, and unforgiving.      

If you have a relationship with Christ – ask him to reveal to you if there are any areas of unforgiveness in you. Ask even if you think there aren’t any. Then ask if you have offended others.  As we read above – there is a woe pronounced on anyone who has offended. Let the Lord reveal it and repent to have that woe removed from your life – go apologize. Now is the time, today is the day of salvation – so do it right away. It is time.

If you don’t already, and today you would like to have a relationship with a God who can communicate with you and be part of your life (and protect you) – one who is full of mighty power and tender love, then please know that I have put the “A, B, C’s of Salvation” in my introduction. Please click here to follow the link.**

Thank you for reading ~ Grace be with you
Be healthy and blessed ~ Love one another
~ Watch and Pray ~
Seek God & keep your eyes on Jesus!

Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!