“My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord God I will come; I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone. O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.” – Psalm 71:15-18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father – Help me Lord, as I share and I am healed form my past. I can only write this with an abundant outpouring of your grace. Help me while I am obedient in sharing. Let my testimony strengthen, encourage, and heal others; and most importantly, let it glorify you. In the name of Jesus – Amen
God says it is time for me to share my testimony. He also wants to uproot the wounds that are found in some of those dark places and give me healing. Sadly I have been ignoring Him on this topic for a while. But yesterday He pinned me down and made me listen and I listened for a while. He sent me a notification of a sermon to watch – I said it was bed time and went to sleep.
I am in awe of God – He continues to use me even though I am so imperfect. He just wants us to have a heart that wants Him, then He works on the rest. The truth, and the fact that I struggle, is also part of my testimony. Like Paul said so many times – my struggle proves that it is God and God alone who is in control of these studies and He is glorified all the more. It is not me.
“And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” Revelation 12:11 ESV
Sharing our testimony is one of three equal parts of our weapon to fight the enemy and overcome the world. The first is the blood of the Lamb (the work of the cross, the life, death, defeat of sin and our redemption, salvation and healing, and His resurrection with power). The other is our complete and utter surrender to God – loving nothing, not even our own life more than we love and submit to God’s will. Which lead me to a dangerous pray – In my zeal, and knowledge that what I was praying was right, I prayed that God would empty me and fill me to overflowing with the spirit. And as I have mentioned in recent posts – how can a temple with a demonic strong hold ever truly be filled when there is a spot owned by the enemy? And I have pondered and questioned – can the Holy Spirit even dwell in the same temple as a demonic spirit? I am the temple.
I woke up this morning and finally watched that sermon that God sent me. I balled for hours. I prayed for hours. I worshiped for hours. God said through it that the message was for me and it was time to deal with all the wounds I have had in my life, once and for all. He was bringing them to the surface and will uproot them. Because some of them have evil strongholds attached – it is time to be emptied.
I have no greater fear – then having to face those skeletons. Ya see, I did some healing work and I am well adjusted. Its done, over and in the past and we can’t change it – So I moved on. BUT THAT ISN’T HEALING! And in my pride (oooo He did tell me that pride had spread through and infected me. I would have never thought I was a prideful person!) but my pride made me hide away the wounds and all the baggage that goes with it. It’s time to clean house.
“Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began,” 2 Timothy 1:8-9 ESV
Well. One of the leading causes of pride is shame. I am about to tear myself open and expose those things I am ashamed of. The things I regret. The things I wish never happened. The things I want to go away. BUT Jesus took me from there to here – and it was an amazing journey and continues to be an amazing journey of grace. Grace. This is my testimony. “Do not be ashamed of the testimony.”
Shame is what Adam and Eve felt when they had sinned. Is it possible that buried with these wounds are unconfessed, unforgiven sins that also need to be addressed. God’s word says:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
We are to confess and ask forgiveness. Never does God obligate Himself to forgive unconfessed sins. We must humble ourselves, swallow our pride, and lay it all out.
“he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Then we can put aside shame and stand fast in the freedom and the strength of God’s glory! It is for His glory that we are not who we used to be!!! Then shame can be banished.
I thought all day, and prayed about how to approach this. I thought maybe chronologically – but back at the beginning is probable the deep roots – I should dig around the shallow roots and pull them first through grace. I was a wounded child which led to poor choices and perpetuated the cycle of wounds. An example would be that in response to struggles in my life, I drank. Heavily. Which of course makes nothing better – it continues the problems. I no longer drink.
And when I say that you have no idea how I got to drinking heavily, because I am telling the story out of order. But let us grab ahold of one plant at a time and begin to uproot it and let the story unfold.
“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:3-7 ESV
I wish it was as easy to say as these verses above – essentially it is my testimony. But God says I will have to discuss certain issues and topic. Obviously not digging in deep today. Today it is important for you to know why we must testify and why we should be bold in doing so.
“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.” Isaiah 43:10a ESV
I have a relationship with God – I am a witness to His grace and mercy. I have experienced His love. A preacher from a church I used to attend always say: I man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument. When we share our testimony we have the upper hand.
Like I am doing, today, challenge yourself to compose your testimony. Do you still have things to uproot, confront, and anything still hidden deep down? Are you ashamed? Is there hidden unconfessed sins?
Let me invite you, with your walk with God, to come down this same path with me. We can heal together, grow in grace and show God’s glory – Look what the Lord has done and is doing in us!!!
If you don’t already, and today you would like to have a relationship with a God who can communicate with you and be part of your life (and protect you) – one who is full of mighty power and tender love, then please know that I have put the “A, B, C’s of Salvation” in my introduction. Please click here to follow the link.**
Thank you for reading ~ Grace be with you
Be healthy and blessed ~ Love one another
~ Watch and Pray ~
Seek God & keep your eyes on Jesus!
Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!