“But what have I done?” asked David. “What have you found against your servant from the day I came to you until now?” 1 Samuel 29:8 NIV
I have been reading the life of David. (1 Samuel chapter 16 into 2 Samuel, and I don’t know yet where it ends as I am still reading it.) Poor David seems to keep asking this question – first to Saul, when Saul wants to kill him for no obvious reason (in David’s mind). And then in this verse, he asks Achish (who was protecting him from Saul).
Hey David – maybe it isn’t all about you! Did you think of that?! (oh but when we read Psalms, we see that he did!)
This really hit a chord with me, as I struggle at work with a Boss who treats me differently than she treats the others on my team. She micromanages me and always seems to try to catch me at something. Yet, there is nothing. Last week, she told me NOT to do my job so well. Well, cutting corners will only get me in trouble, I am sure. She finally set a deadline of last Friday, I was unable to reach – first time I missed a deadline. I cried. Today was my weekly meeting with her. I was sure I was going to be hung. Oh wait – let me get back to where I was starting.
David’s life. David was considered a ‘Man after the Lord Heart’. He was also a mess of human emotions and other issues. He is definitely one of the more relatable people in the Bible, at least to me. He struggles with sin and flaws and shortsightedness – yes He truly tries and he loves the Lord – so God blesses him.
In 1 Samuel 29 – David is trying to go to war with his new Philistine protector and the other Philistines do not want him to come. When he is told to go back ‘home’ – David internalized it and thought it was because of himself. David failed to understand the bigger picture.
“6 So Achish called David and said to him, “As surely as the Lord lives, you have been reliable, and I would be pleased to have you serve with me in the army. From the day you came to me until today, I have found no fault in you, but the rulers don’t approve of you. 7 Now turn back and go in peace; do nothing to displease the Philistine rulers.”
8 “But what have I done?” asked David. “What have you found against your servant from the day I came to you until now? Why can’t I go and fight against the enemies of my lord the king?”
9 Achish answered, “I know that you have been as pleasing in my eyes as an angel of God; nevertheless, the Philistine commanders have said, ‘He must not go up with us into battle.’ 10 Now get up early, along with your master’s servants who have come with you, and leave in the morning as soon as it is light.”
11 So David and his men got up early in the morning to go back to the land of the Philistines, and the Philistines went up to Jezreel.” 1 Samuel 29:6-11 NIV
David went back home and I am quite sure his spirit felt defeated. At least that is how I feel when my Boss takes a project away from me and gives it to my co-worker. I too fail to see the big picture. BUT LOOK WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! When he gets home (in the next chapter) his town was raided! His family and all his possessions (and the possessions of all of his men with their families) were taken away!
Ya see, David thought He was missing out on the plan – but God’s plan was for him to go save his family!! And that is exactly what David and his men did. When feeling personally attacked – it is difficult to see beyond it.
You have read my posts, haven’t you? You know I believe God has a plan over this world – God has a pandemic plan and a racial tension plan and a plan for everything. Keeping peace in the midst of that storm is a breeze for me (but I do not perceive those things as attacking me personally – I can see Gods bigger plan). I have seen it all rise up against me and come close – but it cannot touch me! I know and believe. Yet, here is this relatively little work issue that has me in a spin. Doesn’t God have that under control as well? Hasn’t it threatened, but been kept at bay just like Saul chasing David and God kept Saul at bay?! Isn’t God’s plan always better than our own???
Quickly, let’s review who David is – he is the kid who killed the Philistine giant (Goliath). He was a king of Israel. He was the guy who wrote most of the book of Psalms in the Bible. He was a warrior, a shepherd, a musician, the king, and so much more.
I love the Psalms – so much insight into God and so much worship and love for God. Here is this man, who most of the time cannot see beyond himself, yet he can see God. David sinned, struggled with his own will, lust, and other fleshly desires – he failed. But God also succeeded through him. David could see that the battle belong to the Lord and trusted God in these life or death battles – yet struggled with the smaller things. I can relate in so many ways.
I am human – maybe not as blessed and amazing as David, but just as much of a messy life. My heart loves the Lord I love to worship Him and I trust Him with it all. Yet little things spin me, as David. I find my lack of self-control (over my mouth, over my racing mind when I feel attacked, over so many things that are self) to be so similar to David. So many of his Psalms start with asking for forgiveness and help – same. Same.
I saw a post on my church social media platform today that said self-control is a fruit of the spirit. (We know this – I even did a post on it.) But the pastor wrote, specifically in relation to self-control – that it takes time to grow the fruits to maturity. It took David quite a while – it seems to be taking me a while. Trust the process – believe the promise. The fruits just have to grow in us. Eventually we will have mature fruit.
In the meanwhile, I think we should recall one of my favorite verses –
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Romans 8:1 NIV
Do not be condemned – take it to the Lord. Ask forgiveness, talk it out with Him the way David did in the Psalms. Focus on God – give Him worship because He is worthy. Even when things seem to be a struggle, even when we do not understand, even when our own will gets in our way and we thinks we’ve been derailed (but God is sending us home to do another work (as we learned today, about David).
I pray we become people after God’s heart – chase God down just to give Him some love. Amen?!
~Thank you for reading ~ Grace be with you ~
~Be healthy and blessed ~ Love one another ~
~ Watch and Pray ~ Seek God & keep your eyes on Jesus!
Maranatha ~ Come Lord Jesus!